Authoress on Redbull and Licorice: MI Style
by AllieAmberwhite
Summary: HAHAHAHAHAHA. You fuckers are hilarious you know? For one, this story isn't supposed to make sense. Do me a favour a take that giant tree trunk out of your ass, will you? #gotta love anon hate


SHUT UP.

IT'S VERY LATE WHERE I AM, AND I'M HYPER UP ON REDBULL AND LICORICE.

**MI RANDOMNESS!**

**Alec: Liver… Everyone LOVES liver**

**Jocelyn: I LIKE Liver**

**Jace: Liver is fine as long as there's no sense of Isabelle.**

**...**

**Clary: Tomato Potato Fellatio!**

**Max: The Amazing' Rhyming Clary!**

**...**

**The Inquisitor: SOOOOBAAAAA !**

**Max: **Twitch****

**Isabelle: Shut up you ninny!**

**Sebastian: AWWWWWW W Izzy your no fun! **Pokes Izzy's Head****

**Magnus: I, the marvelous pervert, will now join in on the random word making!**

**Everyone: …**

**...**

**Magnus: TAMPON!**

**Valentine: THERE IS NOT A TAMPON IN MY PURSE MAGNUS!**

**Magnus: There is so! I was referring to the upstairs bathroom that you have to yourself!**

**Valentine: **Blushes deep dark red****

**Magnus: Thought so. Now go buy me some dildos!**

**Valentine: YES SIR! **Leaves****

**Mayrse: Hey! Don't boss Vally around like that!**

**Jace: SHUT UP RUNT!**

**Mayrse: EEP! ** Follows Valentine to the store****

**Everyone: …**

**...**

**Robert: ITS IS I! ROOSTER DUDE!**

**Alec: OMFG ROOSTER DUDE! **Hug****

**Luke: GET OFF HIM BITCH HES MINE!**

**Alec: Wanna fight for him?**

**Luke: HELL YEA! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A THUMB WAR!**

**Alec: BRING IT ON DOWNWORLDER!**

**...**

**The Inquisitor: SOBA ROX MY SOX!**

**Max: **Twitch****

**Jocelyn: Imogen, Shut up.**

**...**

**Alec: TO…MUCH...PERFECT…PEOPLE! **Twitch****

**Jocelyn: **Slaps** GET IT TOGETHER ALEC! MY FREEKY DEEKY LOVE!**

**Jace: Hey you can't hit girls! The only girl you can hit is YOURSELF YOU DAMN... FEMALE!**

**Jocelyn: SHUT UP CHEESE BOY!**

**Jace: WTF?**

**Jocelyn: Seriously I smell cheese in this house.**

**...**

**Max: HEY SEBASTIAN!**

**Sebastian: Yes?**

**Max: Wanna Make-Out?**

**Sebastian: HELL NO! Who would make out with you when they got Clary!**

**Magnus: Spoken like a true poet!**

**Sebastian: **Bitch Slaps****

**...**

**Inquisitor: Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo…**

**...**

**Jace: IT IS I! TE MARVELOUS AND EXTREMLY DRUNK JACE! YO MAGGIE! DIDJA CHEAT ON ME YOU DIRTY, SMELLY WARLCOK!**

**Magnus: WTF? I'm with Alec!**

**Jace: HOW COULD YOU!**

**Magnus: Who needs you when I got my sweetest blue eyed masterpiece?**

**Isabelle: **Ultra Death Glare That Eats Away At the Soul****

**...**

**Alec: I FEEL PRETTY! ALL SO PRETTY! I FEEL PRETTY AND WITTY AND GAAAAAAY!**

**Jace: AND I PITTY ANY HOMOSEXUAL WHO WASN'T ME TODAY!**

**Magnus: O.O**

**...**

**Luke: I have a special Announcement to make.**

**Everyone: …**

**Luke: I has beaten Alec at a Thumb War. This resulted in a broken arm and a missing eyeball.**

****Gasp heard from everyone****

**Luke: You are all idiots to believe such a thing.**

**...**

**Jocelyn: **Sneaking around Jace's Room, sniffing things****

**Jace: **Groan… (He's waking up)** AHH WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN MY ROOM YA DAMN FEMALE!**

**Jocelyn: I smell CHEESE!**

**...**

**Jocelyn: Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh!**

**Jace: What the hell! I thought you liked Cinderella not Winnie the Pooh!**

**...**

**Valentine: I AM A LION! RAWR!**

**Magnus: I AM A PERVERT STRAIGHT TO THE BONE!**

**Valentine: I AM A RADISH THAT REALLY LIKES JACE!**

**Jace: WHAT!**

**Valentine: RAWR!**

**...**

**Clary: SING RING BING DING KING BAGEL FLING BLING CLING REVINE STARWARS!**

**Mayrse: Dude! Get Help!**

**...**

**Alec: I SHALL NOW STICK THIS FRENCH FRY UP MY NOSE!**

****Silence****

**Alec: YOU DENY MY DREAMS OF BECOMNG A WALRUS!**

**Maia: OMG I AM SO SORRY! I SHALL GET YOU MORE FRENCH FRIES TO MAKE YU LOOK LIKE A WALRUS! IM SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRY!**

**Imogen: Geez, can you ever shut up you silly werewolf with ADD.**

**Max: I USED TO HAVE ADD! SOBA! **Twitch****

**Mayrse: Soba…? What does that have to do with ADD?**

**Max: **Twitch****

**Magnus: Whenever he heard the word Soba he'd call Simon and ask him to marry him. Sad really…**

**Max: **Twitch** yaw got that right home dog!**

**...**

**Clary: I shall now eat marshmallows until I explode.**

**Mayrse: AND I SHALL EAT PEAUNUTS TILL I BARF ALL OVER THE INQUISITOR!**

**...**

**Valentine: Jocelyn… You smell like milk… And Jace… And the slightest bit of Cheese.**

**Jace: Hey Valentine! If she smells SOOOOOO much like me, MAKE OUT WITH THE DAMN FEMALE!**

**Valentine: KA-HING! **Makes out for Jocelyn****

**Isabelle: You know Jace…you truly are an idiot.**

**...**

**Max: PINK POODLES!**

**Clary: MARSHMELLOW FLAVORED RED BLUEBERRIES!**

**Max: Ok that was just too weird Clary, my Love**

**Everyone: O.O**

**...**

**Jace: You know Max, you are a sick bastard.**

**Max: **Sniff****

**Jocelyn: **Stops making out with Valentine** you're a jackass Jace. **Rezumes making out with Valentine****

**...**

**Simon: **Sewing Jocelyn a Frilly Pink Dress with a Frilly Pink Tutu That Says "I am a Pervert Like Magnus" In frilly pink letters****

**Everyone: O.O**

**...**

**Simon: **Gives everyone the middle finger****

**Mayrse: **Bites off SImon's finger with Tiger Teeth****

**Imogen: Ewww**

**Magnus: MY DEAR VAMPIRE! I SHALL FETCH YOU A BANDAID!**

**...**

**Isabelle: I, the most awesome member of the Realm of Faerie, will ignore the urge to make out with random people.**

**...**

**Jace: I WANT A PINAPPLE!**

**Jocelyn: We only got Peaches.**

**Jace: FINE I WANT CHERRY SAUCE!**

**Jocelyn: **Sigh****

**...**

**Aline: JACE YOU BETTER NOT HAVE EATEN ANY PORK SINCE I LAST SAW YOU!**

**Jace: OF COURSE I ATE PORK! WHY WOULD I NOT!**

**...**

**Valentine: I want a cheese burger… with lotsa manly ingredients**

**Everyone: Since when did you eat Manly ingredients?**

**Magnus: Yea Valentine! How could you betray us girly ingredients!**

**Clary: I'm getting sick of Marshmallows! Magnus's girly ingredient THINGS HERE I COME! **Takes out Harry Potter Wand** ACCIO! ACCIO! ACCIO!**

**...**

**Imogen (to Magnus): You… are one hot dog I'm nevah gonna eat.**

**Magnus: Okay then… that means one of two things. Either I'm really hot…Or I'm a Tofu Dog that was found under Jocelyn's bed in 1963. AND I LOVE ALEC.**

**Imogen: A Tofu Dog Found under Jocelyn's bed in '63**

**Magnus: AWWWWW BUT I WANNA BE A HOTTIE!**

**(Silence)**

**Mayrse: You… Wanna look like a hunk of rotten fish.**

**...**

**Raphael: I AM A TURD!**

**Simon: Agreed. Wanna make a sandcastle?**

**Raphael: OKAY MY DAYLIGHTER FRIEND! **Skips off to the beach with Simon****

**...**

**Alec: I wanna make an igloo!**

**...**

**Aline: I may be a pig, but I'm not fat!**

**Sebastian: Oh quit denying yourself. You're fat.**

**Aline: I AM NOT!**

**Sebastian: Why else does Jace not like, or love you?**

**Aline: **Glares** you may have a point. JACE! IM GOING ON A DIET!**

**Jocelyn: Look atcha girlfriend you stupid dipstick… going on a diet all for you.**

**Jace: Look at your boyfriends. Ones a Downworlder and the others crazy! AND I'M DATING CLARY!**

**Jocelyn: AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO SHOW OFF EVERY OTHER DAY!**

**Jace: Please you rabid female, you're dissing yourself.**

**Jocelyn: You're a B-I-T-C-H**

**Jace: And you are a female. Female.**

**Jocelyn: RAWR!**

**...**

**Aline: I LOST 99 POUNDS ON THE SPECIAL K DIET!**

**(Silence)**

**Clary: You're that fat?**

**(Silence)**

**Clary: You are aren't you?**

**Aline: Be Happy! I only weigh 238 pounds now! Before you know it I wont have to wear my corset.**

**...**

**Valentine: I love cats… there so fluffy.**

**Jace: Are you talking about Chairman Meow?**

**Magnus: BACK AWAY FROM THE CAT!**

**Maia: I AM SOOOOOOOOOOORY BUT CHAIRMAN MEOW LIVES IN MAGNUS'S APARTMENT OVER HALF THE TIME SO THAT WOULD MEAN VALENTINE HATES YOU! IM SOOOOOO SOOOOOOORRY!**

**Clary: Don't worry mom; if he wants to eat beef burgers and Beefy Cakes then he hates me too.**

**Max: B-beefy cakes?... I WANT ONE WITH PINK ICING AND SPRINKLES!**

**Clary: You're so stupid, stupid!**

**Max: SHUT UP YU STUPID-RED-HEADED-FOOT-SMELLER!**

**...**

**(Later on that day…)**

**Isabelle: I feel… pubescent.**

**Alec: And you don't know why?**

**Isabelle: OOOOOOOOO I know why. magnus's been yelling in my ears for hours on end when he came for dinner.**

**Alec: Grrrrr. MAGNUS!**

**Magnus: (Enters Room) Daaarling?**

**Alec: Have you been yelling in Sissy's ears?**

**Magnus: Since when did you call Isabelle 'sissy'?**

**...**

**Jocelyn: I like Valentine as a friend, or a fuck buddy. A fuck buddy is easier in case I find that I do actually love him. But it will forever be fuck buddy-ish. I LOVE LUKE SKYWALKER!**

**Magnus: Who the hell would want LUKE SKYWALKER! Why not Han Solo! He is easily the sexiest.**

**Jocelyn: Han Solo has Luke's sister.**

**Mayrse: Awwwww that's so sweet Jocelyn!**

**...**

**Maia: OMG RABID POLOR BEARS ARE TRIEING TO EAT MY JELLY BUNS!**

**Imogen: Ok you just killed Jocelyn's lovey-dovey moment.**

**Max: Yea! Geez Maia. GET HELP!**

**...**

**Valentine: (Doodling Jace's name in Japanese all over a random book)**

**Max: Why are you writing Jace's name in Kanji?**

**Valentine: OMG YOU STALKER!**

**Max: I have come to the mental conclusion that you love him.**

**...**

**Alec: I'm like a biiiiiiiiird I wanna fly away! I don't know where my soul is…**

**Jocelyn: What the hell are you spewing!**

**Alec: How the hell should I knoooooooow? How the heeeell….**

**...**

**Jace: You know Luke, you're a total disgrace to all werewolves in this world.**

**Luke: You are a disgrace to all Golden Haired idiots in this UNIVERSE!**

**Jace: Grrrrr. Wanna play Shadowhunter kills Downworlder?**

**Luke: If I win, you kiss Valentine; if you win I kiss… Clary.**

**Simon: OOOOOH YOU CAN'T KISS CLARY! SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER FIGURE!**

**Jocelyn: Shut it! I got Luke Skywalker. Valentine is like my FUCK BUDDY… OMG THEN JACE IS LIKE... Hey he's not my kid o.o**

**Simon: SEE! I told you it would matter!**

**Raphael: Your daughter's friend is right, oh scary one!**

**...**

**Clary: I like staring at your eyes Sebastian…**

**Sebastian: I like staring at Pictures of Palomino Horses…**

**Clary: **Gasp** (Rips pictures away from Sebastian) Save a horse, ride a CLARY!**

**...**

**Alec: I want Maia to repeat after me. "I am a moldy chunk of Broccoli."**

**Maia: OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! I AM A MOLDY HUNK OF BROCCOLI! FORGIVE ME ALEC FOR NOT SAYINGIT QUICKLY!**

**(Collective Gasp)**

**All: Maia finally snapped…**

**Maia: I'M SORRRRRRRRRY FOR SNAPPING!**

**(Collective Gasp)**

**All: You truly are an idiot….**

**Maia: I SAID IM SORRY GODDAMIT!**

**...**

**Valentine: Jace… wake up…**

**Jace: **Snore****

**Valentine: Will you wake up if I give you a kiss?**

**Jace: …**

**Valentine: Ah, why not? **Kiss****

**Jace: **Flips some shit****

**Valentine: **Dead****

Dear lord. I'm sorry for being so rude up there .

Uhm.

So like... yah.

I dun own anything but my redbull and licorice.

Love,

Allie


End file.
